Pet Monologues

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food.

The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.

It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest possible extent . I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine or feline attendance is not required. Read the rest of this entry »

September 21 — Mark the following Puruvian holiday on your calendar.

by john kass
Americans are busy hissing and scratching each other’s eyes out over presidential politics. But there is one thing we can agree on—sending a few thousand U.S. troops into Peru to occupy the nation and stop Peruvians from eating all their cats.

This villainous cat-munching takes place in the fall, when otherwise gentle and kindly Peruvians gather in the village of La Quebrada, just south of Lima, to gorge on felines. They eat fried cat and stewed cat and poached cat. Also, cats prepared with various savory local spices, such as Grilled Cat with Huacatay, the pungent and tasty Peruvian black mint.

Americans have proved we’ll accept almost anything if packaged and marketed properly. We’ve recently accepted socialism just to make Wall Street happy before an election. But if there’s one thing we won’t abide, it’s a nation of cat-eaters.

The terrible Peruvian cat-eating spree has a name: La Festival Gastronomico del Gato. Or for those of you who don’t speak Spanish—the Gastronomic Festival of the Cat. Read the rest of this entry »

CHICAGO — More than 1,000 phony registrations were submitted, Lake County official says. Read the rest of this entry »

We have often heard, and probably experienced, that a human bite can be more infectious than an animal’s bite. Well, what about your pet hamster as a deadly-germ machine? What’s a parent to do?

chicago tribune

The American Academy of Pediatrics, just published that pets pose serious health threats to young children.

Here’s the lineup of no-no pets:
• Reptiles. Small turtles were banished from pet stores decades ago because they harbor salmonella, which causes intestinal problems that can be deadly in children. But other reptiles, including iguanas, lizards, and snakes, also carry salmonella that doesn’t sicken them but could land your kid in the hospital.

• Hamsters. These small, furry rodents are not just cute. They’re carriers of salmonella and have sparked outbreaks of lymphocytic choriomeningitis, a virus that causes brain inflammation and can lead to permanent nerve damage.

• Hedgehogs. These adorable nocturnal critters are increasingly popular in the United States, despite the fact that they can spread salmonella, yersinia pseudotuberculosis (which causes appendicitis-like abdominal pain), and rabies. Hedgehogs’ prickly spines also make it more likely that they will transmit fungal skin infection.

• Monkeys and other primates. Macaques spread herpes B virus, which can cause fatal meningitis in humans, and primates spread a host of other nasty germs, including tuberculosis. A more likely risk is injury, since even “tame” primates have seriously injured trained handlers. Read the rest of this entry »

This post celebrates World Animal Day and Bless the Animals—all the posts. Follow the links to learn more about PM’s initiative which started on October 4 07. We will be looking for marketing efforts that feature animals.

‘I now pronounce you dog and dog’ - pets marry on World Animal Day in England, 2007. What will 2008 bring?

A canary, a goldfish, a guinea pig, a handful of cats and more than two dozen dogs received blessings from a Catholic priest in church to mark World Animal Day.

In a ceremony that was sometimes touching and often comical, Rev. Pierre Valkering led his congregation in songs and prayers - frequently interrupted by meowing and yapping from the pews - before the blessing took place.

The event event featured a weddings zone for pets to tie the knot.

“Animals go through life with us, and that can be a great comfort,” he said. A dog barked loudly in seeming approval, to the delight of many children in attendance. “Sometimes they make us laugh, and that’s a blessing too.”

PM Editorial note: no mention of a prenup in this congregation that day.

AB 1634 is a controversial bill (authored by Democrat Lloyd Levine) in the California State Legislature which would require that dogs and cats in California be spayed or neutered by 6 months of age. Read the rest of this entry »

movie via recycled pets

Getting a new pet? Investigate the options at your disposal. Maybe consider adopting an older animal. Also do your homework concerning spaying and neutering.

Take care of your pet. Take them to the vet on a regular basis. Don’t raise a pet to be homeless. Whatever option you choose, please be responsible.

Interested in generating a Who UR ( Word Cloud ) that defines your space? Or a post? Try Wordle (great name!) a DIY word generator that makes it easy. You have options to control layout, color, fonts, and most importantly your content.

To build a Wordle you can provide your url or just words. PM tried the Pet Monologue url but Wordle generated a visual of our most recent posts. The end result was not what our site is about, just where our head/or the news was at last week. The above Wordle was generated via “select” stories over the course of a year.

Spread Who UR
If you send us a link to your own Wordle we will add your linky to this post to grow a master list.

**** START COPY****
Build a Wordle that defines U/your site. Be serious or not. Expose yourself, or not. A big picture message or where your passion lies most recently.

What message would you like to send out to the blogsphere?
1. Create your Wordle.
2. Post your Wordle on your blog along with these “start/end” rules
3. Tag a minimum of 3 bloggers - or your entire blogroll - to do the same. Notify them of the tag. Your Wordle will soar into the blogosphere.

PM says: “ADD your site to the Wordle link list and place your blog’s name and url in a comment HERE to let us know you have completed your post. We will add your linky to the master list frequently. You can copy this master list at any time and add it to your post. Email webmaster [at] petmonolgoues.com if you have questions.”

***END COPY****

The Wordle tags start here:

Animals as friends
Diane Clancy
Laketrees
Modulator
Speedcat Hollydale
the cat/dog log

via wordle.net