Pet Monologues

These are pixie bob’s. And yes, they are brothers. And one is a bully. Can you guess which one?

Hospital plans to unleash animal-assisted therapy.

Like other hospitals that have used animal-assisted therapy to help patients reduce stress and heal faster, Northwest Community Hospital is recruiting dogs and owners interested in volunteering for a new program expected to begin in August.

“The animals provide a unique dimension of care that is unlike any other therapy around,” said Diane Colville, manager of cardiopulmonary rehabilitation at the Arlington Heights hospital. Read the rest of this entry »

I woke up at 6:30 this morning to take my ex-roommate’s cat to the vet. I guess he’s my cat now. His name is Max and he’s a very skinny orange tabby cat. He came complete with a fifteen second memory span and he has only one facial expression, which is blank. I often wonder if he was somebody’s genetic cloning experiment. That or if he is suffering from fetal alcohol syndrome. He’s just a living cat with barely a hint of character.

I’m trying to give him a personality but it’s difficult. I wonder if my techniques are working. The first technique is to hold him tightly against my chest and speak nonsense to him, kiss his face really hard, and then let him jump out of my arms to freedom. This does not seem to have any effect on him. He just looks mildly bewildered. The second technique is to spank his rump playfully. Again, there’s not much response. Not even the cliché look of superiority most normal cats constantly wear. But I haven’t picked Max up in days and have hardly petted him. I’ve even locked him out of my room. I’m disgusted by him right now. To get my mind off him I think about today’s homework. My teacher wants me to write about something I know a lot about. I glance at a picture of Evan, framed and sitting on my nightstand, where I can see it every night before I go to sleep. I think about Evan’s life and its tragic ending. I wonder if I should write about him. Read the rest of this entry »

This is a story about two twenty-something women, friends, sharing an apartment. This is a true story but names have been changed as you have come to expect. Jane worked at an electronics manufacturer. Mary worked at a book publishing company. Jane was a bit of a home body. Mary was usually out and about. It came to pass that Jane’s boss needed a cat sitter as he was going on vacation. Read the rest of this entry »

Is pet insurance a good idea? First, the good news: veterinarians can do more for your pet than ever before. State-of-the-art medical procedures — from open-heart surgery to kidney transplants — are now available to help prolong an animal’s life. Cats receive dialysis, and even ducks are getting cataract surgery. My own Labrador, Duke, developed a heart condition and had a pacemaker implanted at age 12. He lived a year beyond his natural life expectancy, and I cherished every extra minute I had with him. [RK] Read the rest of this entry »

What’s the Big Deal?
Ah, the pitter patter of four-legged feet as they whip through your living room at overclocked speeds or uproot your prize gladiolas with manic fervor. But Snookiepuss and Mrs. Fluffypants are practically family, right?

So why should they settle for anything less than top drawer when their health and wellbeing are at stake? Throw the planet a bone while you’re at it; we’ve got the goods on how to reduce your pets’ carbon paw prints—without making your wallet roll over and play dead. Read the rest of this entry »

If you have pets, you may have wondered whether they know what you’re thinking. Perhaps your cat hides when you start planning a trip to the vet. Or maybe your dog runs in circles when you think about going out to play. Both of these events can have logical explanations. Your cat might have heard you pull the carrier off the shelf; your dog must have seen you glance at a favorite ball. Read the rest of this entry »

Worried owners cooking for pets. ATLANTA - Some worried pet owners are grinding up meat in their kitchens and making their own dog and cat food because of the contamination scare blamed for numerous animal deaths.

Sales of pet food recipe books have also shot up since the nationwide pet-food recall began two weeks ago. [RK] Read the rest of this entry »

I had a small Chihuahua dog. It was especially cold this particular day, and my wife and I had to leave the house overnight, but we could not take our dog with us. Gopher (the dog’s name) usually stayed outside, but we were afraid of coyotes or some wild animals getting him with our not being around. I had constructed a doggy door in our back door, and it stayed closed most of the time, but now, I had decided to put it into service for our pet, so that he could go outside to take care of business, yet stay in the house to stay out of the severe cold. So a plan was born, and we were satisfied that Gopher would be OK for the day without enlisting any neighbors help. Read the rest of this entry »

I have a recurring dream about my childhood dog, Ginger. In the dream, it begins to storm. I am away from home. I think of Ginger. She is outside. I have to do something. I have to get her in. I rush home, but obstacles keep me from reaching my destination. I call my brother. Sometimes he goes and lets Ginger into the house. Sometimes he is too busy. In my dream, I do anything and everything to get home. Finally, I do. I open the back door and Ginger runs in, wet but tail wagging and no worse off. I can feel the anxiety disappearing.