Pet Monologues

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food.

The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.

It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest possible extent . I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine or feline attendance is not required. Read the rest of this entry »

You never feed me.
Perhaps I’ll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail!
Behold, elevator butt.

The rule for today:
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

In deep sleep hear sound
cat vomit hairball somewhere
will find in morning.

Grace personified.
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.

Blur of motion, then –
silence, me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?

The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds –
your foot just squashed one.

You’re always typing.
Well, let’s see you ignore my
sitting on your hands. Read the rest of this entry »

If you think the Pug can clean your monitor, wait until you see the cat clean your monitor.

The cat’s tongue…

When our cat scarfs his moist food placed on his chrome Wetnoz serving-plate, the surface looks like a mirror. There is nothing left, just a haze-free shine. You could not get the same results with sandpaper, yet that is what his tongue can feel like on your face in the middle of the night.

A Grooming Tool and More
A cat’s ability to groom itself is the result of numerous knobs called papillae on the surface of a cat’s tongue. Located at the tongue’s center, the papillae form backward-facing hooks containing large amounts of keratin, the same material found in human fingernails. These hooks provide the abrasiveness a cat needs for self-grooming. Read the rest of this entry »

Caw to art! is an effort to showcase pets and animals in an ARTFUL manner. A photograph, fine art, a scribble, sculpture. A poem, a monologue, a short story, motion.

Submissions: Beginning Wednesday 2/13/08 thru Friday—and maybe
a bit longer…

yababa stumblesupon Get used to it
injurousfeline stumblesupon Cardinal
Diane Clancy submits Chase in flowers
Eden Stern submits Skeletons out of the closet
Bebobber stumblesupon Sandcastles and Magnets

Sidetracks (is this art? not exactly…)
OnlyintheApple submits The cat lady test
The Dreaming Tree submits Brown-headed nuthatches
What works for you submits Ball? Someone? Anyone?

get used to it

cardinal

chase in flowers

skeletons

sandcastles

magnets

Still steeping…

…in the meantime. Questions? Comments? Editor’s note: please look at Comment 1 below for more C2a! details as well as look at the previous editions of Caw to art!…

and while you are curating your submissions don’t forget Friday Ark roster for this weekend. And Carnival of the Cats which goes up every Sunday.