Pet Monologues

Sigh. No one is looking for these guys. And I see why. They hump everything in sight, try to dominate our old doggies, try to eat our cats and pee on everything and bark at everything. Neurotic, lick constantly. They know no commands, either in English or Spanish. They are aggressive and probably lived in a puppy mill. You dumped them, probably, and we picked them up before they were killed by traffic.

Unneutered, no tags, under 1 year old small males. I hate you, person who dumped these dogs. There are no lost ads on phone poles, no lost ad on Craig’s list, no lost ad in the paper. We put signs up all over, put a found notice in at the local pounds and if you were looking for these filthy little ragamuffins, you would have found them. We are afraid to take them to the pound because under stress, your dogs were snappy and horribly afraid and dogs are judged by temperment for adoption placement. They would not have passed that test. However….. Read the rest of this entry »

by Terry

My dog’s name is Fluffy. I call him Fluffy because he fell in the dryer when he was a puppy and his fur got all weird and fuzzy. Kittywitty, my cat, I found in a dumpster on a vacant lot. She’s real skinny and white and has a long nose, and my dad says she looks like a ferret. But she’s real neat and does these neat tricks like rolling over and sitting up – like a dog does. But she’s a cat. This is what makes her neat. I have a bird, too. Named Pepper. We keep him in a cage in our den. One time, when I had him out playing with him, he got loose and made a mess all over the house that smelled bad for a long time.

My pet turtle’s name is Floyd. I named him after my favorite uncle, who kinda looks like a turtle himself. We got him at the five-and-dime store. He stays in a plastic bowl we keep in the kitchen window. He loves the sun and stretches his neck and legs way out just like he’s sunbathing. He sleeps a lot, and sometimes it’s hard to tell If he’s dead or alive. I had another cat, but he got run over by a United Parcel truck. I buried him under a rose bush. That’s the only trouble with pets. You get to like them a lot, and when something happens to them, it makes you real sad.

Source: Cedar Park Middle School

An endangered animal story by Sabina, age 10.

It was a happy sunshine day on the northern coast of Florida, when Sara Hawksbill was told to come out to play with her friends. It is like tropical weather, with its humid climate and fresh smell. When she returned, her mother scolded her because she just finished cleaning the house and now she had more work. She told Sara to go take a bath while she cleaned Sara’s muddy mess.

Sara thought that her mother was just saying this, but with the look on her mother’s face she went anyway. Once Sara got there, she saw her friend, the fisherman, having trouble-catching fish. So she went to him and told him, “I will get some fish for you.” Then she went down in the water and grabbed some fish with her hooked beak. The fisherman was overseeing her with interest because under the water her body really looked like a hawk. She had a patterned shell and beautiful body that had two claws at the front flaps. When she returned and gave the fish to the fisherman, she realized that she had to take a bath. After her bath she came home and saw that mama did not return yet. So she went to get dinner ready for mama, papa, and herself.

Mama still didn’t return. Even though when papa returned home from work, Sara asked him, “Did you see mama while you came this way home?” Read the rest of this entry »

by Odessa (?)

Hi my Friend,

Oreo, I’m so sad to have to tell you this: Barney, one of our pet apple snails, died this Christmas eve. We were all very sad. Mom even cried. Barney and Mom were very close you know.

After Mom removed Barney from her home aquarium and put her to rest, Mom dried her eyes, pulled up a chair and started to tell us all about Barney’s life.

It was not a sad story Mom told us, Oreo, and it wasn’t not only about Barney’s life. This story of Barney’s life could be the story of millions of other pet apple snail lives all rolled into one story. I decided that I wanted to shareher story with you Oreo as I know you will be as interested init as I and my mates were.

Barney’s life was not at all like our lives. Barney was an amphibious snail. Where as you and I will live all our life on dry land, amphibious snails like Barney live their lives in water but they must come up to the surface of their aquariums, streams or ponds to breathe. They also lay their eggs just above the water’s surface. The rest of the time they spend under water. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s the word that I long to hear my husband say, but he has so much trouble uttering it - it begins with an “L” and he’s just too shy and self-conscious to say it aloud in public, but in the privacy of our home he’s not afraid to say “Labradoodle.”

I first noticed this at the park. When a woman asked what kind of dog was attempting to strangle itself at the end of our leash, I began to say “labradoodle,” but my husband steamrolled over me and said, “Oh, he’s a mutt. Some kind of lab mix. We aren’t really sure.” Her curiosity satisfied, she went on her way and I gave my husband an inquisitive look, which he shrugged off.

Next our neighbor, who isn’t exactly a dog person, asked where we got the blond wookie. A big strapping guy who spends way too much time polishing his Harley Davidson and too little riding it, he first remarked that we needed another dog “like Iraq needs sand.” Ha-ha. Then he pointed out that the dog looked like a big poodle. My husband bristled a bit. “Hey, he’s a lab. Well, he’s mostly lab. He’s not a poodle.” Read the rest of this entry »

by Muhammad Farhan

It was standing in the middle of the road, arms akimbo, and a bunch of keys dangling from the Dockers it was wearing. Its protruding belly pointed towards the military base on the other side of the road, and it’s rotund behind aptly pointing at a cheap run-down restaurant stuffed with crotch scratching doodh-patti drinking bearded goons peering out of the smudgy windows. It did not move and it did not stir… it just stood there, with arms akimbo.

My taxi driver blew his horn, shouted at the top of his voice, slammed his own car in frustration, but it did not move. Apparently its vehicle had broken down and was blocking one third of the narrow road, while the rest of it was blocked by the worthy owner of the car. Its mouth kept chewing on something unceasingly, as if it were swallowing and regurgitating the contents of its stomach again and again. I could not see its eyes through those classy shades it was wearing, but I’m sure they were looking at the taxi driver. Read the rest of this entry »

Theresa Hoang, the owner of runaway Gracie, sent an email to Team Vivi members thanking them for their help—from posting fliers to calling veterinarians — which ultimately made the Italian greyhound’s ending a happy one.

“I would like to specially thank all of you for your tremendous help and support” when Gracie was wandering the streets of Brooklyn, she wrote. “I have never seen such a coordinated effort … I [would love it] if we could meet each other some day.

The dog was missing since July 15, 2007, in Brooklyn.

Now wait a New York minute! Just who/what is Team Vivi? The short version is…who really wants the short version? This is a blog! Let’s go for the long version!

SEARCH FOR A PRIZE-WINNING SHOW DOG BECOMES A NEW YORK OBSESSION Read the rest of this entry »

An endangered animal story by Nina, age 10.

I, Sara, a squirrel monkey, was hunting for my daily meal in the rainforest’s canopy: bugs, berries and leaves. I suddenly heard this noise that was so loud, it almost broke my eardrums! The tree I was in started to shake and I practically fell off! I quickly jumped into another tree, and the one I was in fell to the floor of the rainforest. After that exciting moment, I looked down, and saw a human with what I think was a chainsaw!

Illustration by Nina using Kid Pix.

I quickly called all the animals, (yeah, even that pesky ocelot that kept on chasing me). We had a meeting to come up with a plan that would stop the human from cutting the canopy, and make him go back where he came from. “How about we tie him up with vines and send him down the Amazon!” Jaguar exclaimed. Read the rest of this entry »

An endangered animal story by Kyle, age 10.

One day in the Woods of No Return a sheep was attacked by a pack of Timber Wolves. At first the Timber Wolves broke the sheep’s leg, and made it bloody.

Illustration by Kyle using Kid Pix.

Then out of whom knows where came Balto the Red Wolf/Dog with his reddish brown fur and brown eyes. Balto chased three wolves away. Four of them howled and shouted out at Balto, “Timber.” Then out of who knows where came an avalanche. Balto quickly pushed him and the seriously injured sheep to the side while they watched the huge mass of snow go by.

Then Farmer Fred came out of his house, and saw Balto next to the sheep and thought he tried to kill it. So he rushed into his house and got his rifle, but Balto was gone by the time he got outside. The one thing Farmer Fred did not know about Balto is he does not eat live puny sheep he only eats dead puny sheep. Farmer Fred was eager to get Balto, and all the Red Wolves that live around him. Red Wolves are endangered and Farmer Fred wanted Red Wolves extinct. Red Wolves are endangered because they go after sheep and farmers kill them. Read the rest of this entry »

This week PM was vastly entertained by several couples who are expecting the birth of a child and witnessing the naming process, if that is what it could be called. Naming a child may be more challenging than naming a pet. Or is it? Well, animals may have more options to choose from and maybe an interesting story behind it. It reminds me of a dog named PD which translated into poor dog because the dog had reached what we describe as rock bottom. Now here is an article to kick this can down the road and see if we can provoke more stories…

By Linda Goldston.

A rose is a rose is a rose—but a pet name? That can be almost anything.

Every year, names like Max, Jake and Buddy show up on many lists of Top 10 names for dogs, while Max, Smokey and Shadow make it on the cat names list. Read the rest of this entry »