Pet Monologues

As a new, and fresh, pet/animal site, PM is getting a lot of peeks. Most are from dog and cat lovers so we welcome visits when new animals are involved. An interesting site amazon-tree-boa links to us from time to time. We did the reverse to see where it would lead us. In a around about way, it happens, we have a snake eating a rat story.

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“The Hog Island Boa finally picked a name and it’s Miss Spaz. Why you ask? She’s funny. Holding her, if she’s moving around and her nose comes into contact with my arm or hand, she’ll flip out and jerk back like she’s only just realized she’s being held. But mostly for the reason that’s under the cut.

Warning! Feeding pics. Don’t look if you don’t want to see the little psycho eating a rat. Don’t worry, the rat is pre-killed though, in a humane way, feeding live is bad.

She doesn’t seem to notice that the rat is already dead.

And I swear that when this started, she was completely in that hide. Then she darts out, snaps, coils and for some reason—every time—her tail comes shooting out to wrap the hide and look like it’s having a seizure. She is Miss Spaz.”

Source: thunder-nari Hey thunder-nari, please create more animal experiences for us!

It’s better than a soap opera.

Since late March, my neighbors and I have been privy to the continuing saga of the trials and tribulations of a family consisting of papa and mama osprey and their very hungry, very noisy young. There are three of those.

Don’t think it’s easy to keep that growing trio of fledglings fed. It’s not as if the parents get to drive to a fast-food restaurant to pick up burgers and some chicken for supper. On the contrary, a lot of hard work goes into providing enough fish for three growing youngsters, plus the mother who gets to baby-sit while the babies are still defenseless.

It’s been estimated that one juvenile consumes close to 200 pounds during a typical season; multiply that times three and it is apparent the life of an osprey adult is not easy.

Last year an osprey pair nested on a snag farther down the river and although we were able to see some of the action, we were only able to observe them through binoculars. My neighbors, Paul and Phyllis, decided a closer nest would be a good addition to our neighborhood and last year they had an artificial nesting box put on a convenient snag closer to their house on the banks of the South Umpqua River. Read the rest of this entry »

Warning: Violence. Adult language.

Man, I saw this guy get chomped by a fucking hippo dude. Man, this guy was getting eaten alive man. No, I wasn’t there dog, I saw it on t.v. It was on the Discovery Channel bro. This guy was in this canoe thing right and he’s rowing along, minding his own business, when all of a sudden, a huge fucking hippopotamus comes exploding out of the water!

The dude gets sucked into the jaws of this fucking hippo man and the hippo is like munch, munch, munch on the dude, dude! It was crazy man. No, I didn’t see it happen like that exactly man. It was like a whatchamacallit, a, ahhhh, like when those actor people act like what happened in real life man. What is that shit called??? Oh yeah, a reenactment. Right..renac, a rena, a shit, you know, anyways, fucking hippo was chowing down on this dude and then it spits the guy out of its jaws man. Read the rest of this entry »

by Sadie Stephens, age 13

so i’ve like this one guy for a while, right? ok, well, today i wrote a note, saying that i like him, and i gave it to him in class. unfortunately, he said that he’d read it after class, and i don’t get to see him for the rest of the day. boys. jeezy creezy. and there’s this boy named will in my class that likes me (i don’t care, really), and we were playing a game where someone yells your name, and they toss a ball at you. if you don’t catch it, you’re out, and if you call someone’s name that’s already been called, you’re out. so my teacher asks us if we’re ready, and then she throws it at will, and he doesn’t catch it, so he’s out. well, he gets kinda upset, and then goes off to sulk. then he comes back in the game just as i get the ball, so i say his name, and throw it at him as hard as i can. he obviously doesn’t catch it, and i hit him just as my teacher’s talking about how he was out, and she’s agreeing that he can come back in the game. then i hit him and she says, “well, now you’re out”. it was so easy. i got him at least twice. and he was threatening me about it too. he even took one of the tennis balls off of the bottom of the chairs, and he threatened to hit me in the face with it. fortunately the bell rang for the end of the day. Read the rest of this entry »

Click above and enjoy a short video-clip. It certainly will enlighten your day.

Source: by James Jacobson

Monologue Description: “Dog Anxiety” is about doing a favor for a friend and getting screwed over for it. Character Description: In this monologue, Raquel stops over her neighbors in her apartment complex building. She tells her of the terrible creature of a dog she has been babysitting for another friend.

RAQUEL:

She asks me to watch her puppy Oscar. I say sure, I mean, how bad could it be to watch an innocent, harmless, cute little puppy? Right? Right? WRONG! It was a nightmare if there ever was one. Look at me! Do you see the bags under my eyes. I look like I went twelve rounds with Muhammad Ali. I look horrible!

She tells me, like it’s noooooo big deal. She says, “Raquel would you mind watching my puppy for me for three days?” I said sure no problem. No problem! Read the rest of this entry »

Here is a small secret a friend told me about the two rainbows he caught last summer.

“Have to admit that I caught them while fishing for Smallmouth.” Read the rest of this entry »

Here is a glimpse on pet literature today. One writer says that with all the attention from publishers, you’d think pets could read.

Dogs and cats have taken up residence in American homes in record numbers, according to the American Pet Products Manufacturers Association. Its 2007–2008 National Pet Owners Survey found that 63% of U.S. households—71.1 million homes—own a pet. Households with dogs number 44.8 million, while felines can be found in 38.4 million homes. The cat populace, 88.3 million, outnumbers the 74.8 million dogs, that’s because pet parents with cats are more likely to have more than one. However, that in spite of the larger cat population, dog-related books still outsell any other category, the dog-related books outnumbered cat tales by about six to one. What are the books about? Here are 44 titles to think about:

Health and wellness

According to a 2004 American Animal Hospital Association survey, 94% of pet owners take their pet for regular veterinary checkups to ensure their pet’s quality of life. And animal medicine, like its human counterpart, the information and options available in terms of treatment and diagnoses have become vastly more complicated over the last decade. People are, therefore, looking for resources that will help them make sense of it all. Now it is becoming commonplace procedures for dogs as organ transplants, joint replacements and cancer treatments. There are also books, from home remedies to cutting-edge alternative homeopathic therapies.

There’s an author that offers practical strategies for keeping mature dogs young and healthy in mind and body. Among her findings is that only 20%–25% of a dog’s longevity is determined by its genes; the owner can influence the remaining percentage by how he or she cares for the animal. Read the rest of this entry »

I was a good boy. I loved my family and always looked out for them.

I always greeted them at the door and showed them my happy expressions.

We exchanged lots of kisses and hugs, especially with younger members of the family.

I was happy. I loved going to the park and run around.

I loved jumping of the docks to water and roll around in the grass.

We all had a lot of fun and we were happy.

That was until my family took me to the woods.

I was beaming with excitement and smelling the unknown, cool misty air and hoping we get to explore the new playgrounds. That would be so great!

As the car rolled to a stop and a silence filled the air, the door opened and I was ordered to jump out. Read the rest of this entry »

I had a street dog chase me for what seemed like miles. Wanna hear my story?? I was a teenager at the time, I was selling cookies and candy in the streets of Queens to make a living. Each box I sold I got a buck. That’s what I did for money back then.

I was going door to door, house to house, selling these boxes of goodies. I saw an alleyway and decided to cut through it in order to get to the next block quicker. And that’s when it happened. A dog, a big German Shepard, on the other side of a fence, was staring at me. I minded my own business but then the dog started growling and then barking at me. So, I started walking a bit faster to avoid a problem. Just as I move quicker, the damn dog runs and jumps completely over the fence. I couldn’t believe it.

I bolted off running as fast as I could. All the time holding my box of candy. The dog started gaining on me so I threw the box at the dog. I missed him. I was running straight for a fence and just as I got to the fence, I literally dove over it, instead of climbing over it. I didn’t have time with the dog closing in on my ass. The dog grabbed my sneaker and started thrashing my foot back and forth. I’m dangling in the air on the opposite side of the fence screaming my head off. Read the rest of this entry »