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You know your pets really want marriage. Right? at Pet Monologues

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  • If animals had an election.

    Who would be the next President of the animal kingdom…

    Find some answers here

    Join the forum discussion on this post - (2) Posts

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  • Here Kobe, here.

    Kobe Bryant’s popularity extends even to the animal kingdom. From a database of more than 465,000 pet insured animals including dogs, cats, birds, and exotic domesticated animals, 359 are named “Kobe,” making it the 189th most popular name of 65,536 pet names across the nation. Five pets in the database are named “LeBron,” two are name “Yao Ming,” and there’s a “Boston Garnett” along with a “Dirk Nowitzki.”

    The most unusual sports name in the pet world, however, might belong to a Yorkshire Terrier that answers to “Kobe Shaq Jackson.” via los angeles times

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  • Dress up games.

    For Halloween one needs a creative tool to dress up Fluffy and Buddy. Here it is! Dressup games. My cute pet dressup.

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  • Pets vote.

    “Even our dogs and cats have learned that elections matter.” vice president Al Gore Click on a dog to buy a vote for Bark Obama or McCanine. Check in daily to see who is pulling on the lead…

    visit petsvote

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  • Pets. Dead people. Asked to vote.
    CHICAGO — More than 1,000 phony registrations were submitted, Lake County official says. Dogs, goldfish and dead people were sent voter registration forms by mistake as part of an aggressive registration drive in the northern suburbs, Lake County Clerk Willard Helander said Friday. "This is nothing like we've ever seen before," Helander said in a news conference in Waukegan, where election workers identified more than 1,000 phony registrations submitted over the past few weeks. Helander blamed the problem on a group called the Voters Participation Center, a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization that is a project of Women's Voices/Women's Vote based in Washington, D.C. Sarah Johnson, a Women's Voices spokeswoman, said the group uses a commercial data list generated by a national vendor to send out registration forms and that mistakes happen. "Sometimes . . . people think it's funny to get a magazine addressed to their cat or their dog, and when they do that, their cat or dog ends up on the list," Johnson said. "But we're just trying to make it as easy as possible for people to register and vote." Election officials in Oregon, Kentucky and other states have complained that the Women's Voices project has caused confusion. A record 401,935 Lake County residents are registered for the Nov. 4 election. via chicago tribune [1] [1] http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-lake-voter-fraud-both-18-oct18,0,7157423.story
  • Great Lakes wolf killing stopped.
    Court Reverses Bush Decision to Strip Protection From Wolves in Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Michigan. Breaking News! Agreeing with a Center for Biological Diversity legal action, a federal judge today overturned a 2007 Bush administration decision to remove Great Lakes area wolves from the endangered species list. The ruling puts an immediate halt on the killing of hundreds of wolves in Michigan, Minnesota, and Wisconsin. While the Great Lakes wolf population has increased to 4,000 individuals under the protective cover of the Endangered Species Act, the species is still missing from most of its historic range, including the Northeast, the southern Rocky Mountains, the Great Basin, and the West Coast. Rather than developing a national wolf recovery strategy, the Bush administration craftily abandoned wolf recovery in most of the country by delisting wolves in the Great Lakes and the northern Rocky Mountains and declaring that the lack of wolves in other areas relieves the administration of any responsibility to continue recovery actions. In today's ruling, the judge agreed with the Center's amicus argument that stripping protection from local populations while refusing to consider the recovery of wolves throughout the lower 48 appears to violate the central purpose of the Endangered Species Act. The precedent setting ruling will protect hundreds of species from this backdoor strategy of abandoning species recovery. This is the second major victory in two weeks for the Center's wolf recovery fund. On September 16, the government announced it would give up defending against our northern Rockies wolf lawsuit. Thanks for supporting the wolf defense fund and sending thousands of emails and petitions objecting to the slaughter of wolves in Montana, Idaho, Wyoming, Minnesota, and Wisconsin. This victory couldn't have happened without your help. Thanks also to our litigation allies at the Humane Society, Help Our Wolves Live, the Animal Protection Institute, and Friends of Animals and Their Environment.
  • Endangered species act under assault.
    Send Comments to Secretary Kempthorne. Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne announced devastating changes to the Endangered Species Act, signaling the end of protection for thousands of imperiled species. The new regulations would: - Exempt thousands of federal activities from review under the Endangered Species Act; - Eliminate checks and balances of independent oversight; - Limit which effects can be considered harmful; - Prevent consideration of a project’s contribution to global warming; - Set an inadequate 60-day deadline for wildlife experts to evaluate a project in the instances when they are invited to participate – or else the project gets an automatic green light; - Enable large-scale projects to go unreviewed by dividing them into hundreds of small projects. We must stop Kempthorne from fatally crippling our nation’s most successful wildlife law. Take action today. [1] [1] http://salsa.democracyinaction.org/o/2167/t/5243/campaign.jsp?campaign_KEY=25351
  • Porpoises belly up to low-fat diet.
    TOKYO — Dolphins at a Japanese marine park are going on a low-fat diet after developing potbellies and failing to look sharp in their aquatic performances. Kinosaki Marine World in western Japan said Tuesday that all its 19 dolphins have been on a low-fat diet since late August, when they started failing to hit jumping targets and keep upright while treading water. "We were puzzled by their poor performance. Then we noticed they looked rounder," said park spokesman Haruo Imazu. Keepers weighed them and found all had gotten plumper, some up to 22 pounds heavier just during the summer. All had the same menu—about 31 pounds of mackerel mixed with some white fish — but keepers found the mackerels had gotten fattier, adding too many calories. Keepers immediately put them on a weight-loss program, feeding them more white fish and less fatty mackerel while instituting an exercise regime, Imazu said. Less fat and moderate exercise seem to be working. via chicago tribune [1] [1] http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/chi-dolphins_01oct01,0,4672913.story
  • Man punches shark. Saves dog.

    SLAMORADA, Fla. — A dog is recovering after a Florida Keys carpenter dove in to save his pet from a shark.

    Greg LeNoir said he took his 14-pound rat terrier Jake for a daily swim at a marina Friday.

    The 5-foot shark suddenly surfaced and grabbed nearly the entire dog in its mouth.

    LeNoir said he yelled, then balled up his fists and dove headfirst into the water. He hit the shark in the back and the creature finally let go of the dog.

    Man and dog made it safely back to shore. The dog suffered bite wounds but was not critically injured.

    PM editor’s note: OMG!

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  • Elephant killed by bus.
    MEXICO — A five-ton elephant was killed by a bus after it escaped from a circus in Mexico, and wandered onto a busy highway. Bus driver Tomas Lopez, 49, also died and at least four passengers were taken to hospital after the accident, which happened just before dawn on Tuesday in Ecatepec, north of Mexico City. The elephant had escaped from its cage at the Circo Union circus, according to Mexico State police spokesman Juan Sanchez, who said officers were still investigating the circumstances. It is understood that the 40-year-old animal, named Hilda, broke free as her keeper arrived to feed her. She apparently knocked down a metal door that led to the street and wandering through two neighbourhoods before trying to cross the road. Marcelino Ramos, 22, keeper at the Circo Union circus, told El Universal daily newspaper: "I untied her so she could eat. She never did this before, but suddenly she ran at full speed and broke through the gate." Police said the bus driver stood no chance of avoiding the elephant as it charged onto the road near the famous Teotihuacan pyramids. Last month, a 500lb lion escaped from a private zoo in southern Mexico. The animal killed two dogs and a pig and attacked a woman and child on a donkey before it was sedated and caught. via telegraph.co.uk [1] [1] http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/centralamericaandthecaribbean/mexico/3069003/Escaped-circus-elephant-killed-by-bus-in-Mexico.html



World Animal Day Share This


Maukie the cat!

You know your pets really want marriage. Right?


Two Chihuahuas wear wedding outfits at a fashion show during the VenusFort family dog fiesta in Tokyo May 17, 2008. (Getty Images photo / June 18, 2008)

June brides are everywhere in the media at the moment, we don’t want to be left out.

An article by John Kass, Chicago Tribune…
My brother has selected a puppy for his family’s pet—a Parson Russell terrier pup he’ll call Wrigley (he’s a Cubs fan)—but even before all the kids play with it I’m wondering how I’ll feel the day Wrigley gets married.

Will the “bride” wear white? Will I begin to cry, like a big fat baby?

When the “reverend” performing the pet marriage says, “By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you dog and . . .”—is that when Satan pops out of the wedding cake and takes us all straight to hell?

Also, how much for the Pet Wedding Consultant?

“It varies,” said famed pet counselor-wedding consultant Shirley Scott, from Walla Walla, Wash. “It could be between $500 to $1,500. But that’s just an estimate.”

I found Scott’s name in a recent, and terrifying, news report on the American pet wedding phenomenon. Americans spend $40 billion a year on their pets, and the pet wedding industry wants its cut. There are fees for clerics to say the rites and blessings, and black tuxedos for four-legged grooms, and cakes and caterers, and beaded satin wedding gowns.

“Your little bride will be so beautiful walking down the aisle wearing this elegant, fully-lined white satin and lace wedding gown set,” promises one pet wedding Web site I won’t name in the hopes of staving off damnation. “The six layers of tulle can be separated to make this beautiful wedding veil very full and elegant. This set also includes a matching white satin leash.”

Another dog wedding Web Site, for My Uptown Pooch, offers beaded wedding gowns for up to $10,000, tips for measuring for dog couture and also offers these suggestions:

1) Call where the ceremony will be held to be sure that your dog will be allowed. 2) Have someone standing by, in the event your dog needs to leave the ceremony. 3) Realize there is a lot of activity at a reception. Maybe your dog should be taken home where he or she can settle down. You don’t want him/her trampled at the reception while everyone is dancing. 4) Do you want your dog to match your maid of honors [sic] dress or bridesmaids?

Remember when Americans were asking why Islamofascists hate us so much? Now you know.

“Marriage for an animal is almost like marriage for a human,” Scott was quoted as saying in the pet wedding article. “An animal union is more like a blessing under God.”

I’m always on the lookout for another sign of the Apocalypse. The last one involved reports of Americans craving $400 per pound gourmet coffee beans from the behind of a cat. Now dog unions are considered blessed events.

“Yes, an animal union is a blessing,” Scott told me. “It is.”

A blessing?

“Well, I am a reverend,” Scott said. “If you’re in a family with two animals and they want to unite in a wedding, what difference does it make? It is not a sign of the Apocalypse. It is a sign that animals often seek to form a lasting bond and have deep commitment.”

When I was a kid, we owned a male cocker spaniel. He formed a lasting bond with a vinyl beanbag chair in the basement—nobody dared ever sit in it—but at least he had the decency not to propose marriage. But I didn’t have the heart to tell Scott.

I also didn’t have the heart to tell her what would have happened to her eyeballs if Rev. Scott could travel back in time and bring her dog marriage theology to 8th Century Constantinople, when the Empress Irene was busy battling the Iconoclasts.

Instead, we talked pet marriage. Turns out the pet marriage community isn’t as tolerant as some might think. Dogs may marry other dogs, but human pet clerics frown on cross-species marriage.

“You must consider what’s in their DNA first,” Scott said. “It is the DNA that drives them. I have several friends who have cougars. They love their cougars. Their cougars love them. But they wouldn’t turn their backs on their cougars or they’d be prey. You must respect the DNA.”

So I guess that rules out the cougar-baby goat marriages, eh?

“Cougars wouldn’t get married to goats, for that reason, the DNA,” she said. “That union wouldn’t work.”

We had the same problem at our house a few years ago. It involved a pet crawfish named Boeby. He lived like a lonely bachelor in an aquarium in the kitchen. But he seemed sad, and we humans thought he needed companionship. So we tossed a goldfish in there, to live with him, in sin, just as we were having our own dinner.

Overjoyed with his new friend, Boeby immediately climbed into the green waterweeds, claws up, swaying along with the vegetation. It only took about 30 seconds for Boeby to grab the fish and snip a gigantic chunk out of its belly. Boeby kept half of it in his claws. So much for mixed marriage.

“That’s why I brought up the DNA,” Scott said. “You have to respect the animal differences. You have to consider the DNA of the pets, to look inside to the center, to determine if they’re compatible.”

And when they’re not compatible, we’ll have a new trend: dog divorce lawyers, ready to clean up.

via john kass/chicago tribune

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4 Responses to “You know your pets really want marriage. Right?”

  1. Wavatar Modulator UNITED STATES Says:

    Friday Ark #196…

    We’ll post links to sites that have Friday (plus or minus a few days) photos of their chosen animals (photoshops at our discretion and humans only in supporting roles). Watch the Exception category for rocks, beer, coffee cups, and….? Visit all the …

  2. Wavatar RennyBA NORWAY Says:

    Sounds a bit crazy to me - the picture was great though - thanks for sharing!

    Btw: fly fish for trout sounds great - you should come to Norway and fish in our fjords and rivers one day to caught the big once you know :-)
    RennyBAs last blog post..Arctic King Crab and Bird Mountain safari

  3. Wavatar PM UNITED STATES Says:

    a bit crazy but that is life i guess…

    renny, when we are in norway to catch the big ones, i hope you will agree to be our guide!

  4. Wavatar goldfish pet names UNITED STATES Says:

    goldfish pet names…

    Your post reminded me of “the richest man in babylon”…

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